The Kenyan Scholar

At this age group, you may likely be a university or college graduate. You might as well be a hustler. All in all, you are among this group of senior youth, trying to find your voice as an adult this world. You know, living your purpose, walking towards your destiny, and what not.

It’s that age where you try finding yourself. You try pushing yourself to be somebody in this life. The world is welcoming you. The society is on your case as societal pressures start creeping in. 

They say, everyone has his or her time. The problem is when your time comes late. You start seeing your friends and peers moving and tackling life with ease. Their doors open before yours. You start comparing yourself with them. First mistake.

Success comes after struggle. Many know this. But what if you struggle and struggle and no results? Sure, there is nothing that can derail you when you have the persistence and belief that all will turn out to be okay, but what happens and you continually have no results to show for your efforts? 

At first you might fail and get back on your feet, but what if you fail to get back on your feet and fail again and again? You might end up getting stuck in a constant loop of misery until your start questioning life. Second mistake. \

Things like generational curses in the family suddenly seem plausible and you start believing a dark cloud has cast its shadow upon your life. You start feeling miserable and unworthy.

There’s an insidious quirk to your brain that, if you let it, can drive you absolutely batty. Tell me if this sounds familiar to you:

You’re so worried about doing the right thing all the time that you become worried about how much you’re worrying. Or you feel so guilty for every mistake you make that you begin to feel guilty about how guilty you’re feeling. Or you get sad and alone so often that it makes you feel even more sad and alone just thinking about it.

Welcome to the Feedback Loop from Hell. Chances are you’ve engaged in it more than a few times. Maybe you’re engaging in it right now: “God, I do the Feedback Loop all the time—I’m such a loser for doing it. I should stop. Oh my God, I feel like such a loser for calling myself a loser. I should stop calling myself a loser. Ah, damn! I’m doing it again! See? I’m a loser! Argh!”

Yet, believe or not, this is part of the beauty of being human. Very few animals on earth have the ability to think cogent thoughts to begin with, but we humans have the luxury of being able to have thoughts about our thoughts. That is the miracle of consciousness!

The challenge is, when you get stuck in a rut with no future prospects for long while the rest of your peers seem to be thriving, the meaning of life begins to change for you. Your perception changes. You begin to lose touch with your spirituality and things such as love. Relationships with others become less and less important. You start being apathetic and even loathsome almost all the time.

Your hubris convinces your wounded psyche to seek seclusion. Apparently, you now want your own peace which in the long run, you might never find and end up jeopardizing your mental health. What is there for me in this life anyway? You ask yourself.

When the dark energy starts manifesting itself, negativity starts creeping in gradually. You no longer want anything. You hide behind social media to suppress your depressive thought processes thinking you will be okay. 

As you continue feeling shitty and empty, your next destination is a host of destructive habits. To escape, you seek friends and drink together. You get high and drunk to forget your problems for a moment as if there is no tomorrow. But, tomorrow always comes and in sobriety, you are right back to the tumultuous state of mind you sought to escape. 

For the youth with appropriate academic qualification, there is nothing bad like unemployment. You wake up with no motivation, no agenda for the day. You wonder a lot about your purpose in this life and often end up feeling both useless and helpless.

At this age, you don’t care much for handouts. You want to struggle to achieve your own. It’s all about having pride in yourself and gaining financial freedom. We all want to be millionaires as soon as possible but first, we just want to live comfortably, even if you only begin with a bed in your lonely bedsitter.

There is much peace that comes with having your own personal space. That is, no one telling you what to do, you are your own boss. Even if you have only a mattress on the floor, nothing beats taking such control over your life. But what if you still can’t achieve this? 

You will have no choice but continue to live with your parents. As a recent graduate, your parents will accommodate you and continue to treat your as a child. They will still view you as their child and they will use you to run errands and complete chores as if you were still 12. Nobody wants this at 26 years!

But you know they are right. They have given you an education and yet you continue to be a burden. You know there is nothing they want more than seeing you stand your own and take care of yourself. 

God bless all supportive parents out there. If your parent has taken an initiative to jump start you means of livelihood with some little capital or given you van or a tractor to do farming, thank God. If they are not in that position, don’t push them and make them feel bad. That would be inconsiderate and immature. 

Then there are these types of parents that are in a position to help you but would rather that you to down to them and bend backwards begging them to help you or simply don’t want to help you. This is from the bottom of my heart: sincerely, screw them and damn whatever they stand for. 

You can’t push your child to the edge of a ledge yet you have resources. Even if they were raised in the most archaic and medieval of ways, where is the compassion? Where is the love? This age can either break or make you, the outcome at 30 will tell it all.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to 24-30. The age that may completely break you. Even the most resilient and the strong can hit rock bottom. They can be reduced to zero. There is nothing in life as bad as being down and smiling so as to hide it. You don’t want people to think that you.

It pains me to know that a lot of our youth are out there putting on a brave face while struggling to keep their heads above water. Smiles mask the turmoil within and most never speak up or ask for any help. This is because deep down, they believe they are on their own. 

Times are worse in this era of social media and global interconnectedness. Now if you feel like shit for even five minutes, you’re bombarded with 300 images of people totally happy and having amazing fucking lives, and it’s impossible to not feel like there’s something wrong with you.

It’s this last part that gets us into trouble. We feel bad about feeling bad. We feel guilty for feeling guilty. We get angry about getting angry. We get anxious about feeling anxious. What is wrong with me?

Because there’s an infinite amount of things we can now see or know, there are also an infinite number of ways we can discover that we don’t measure up, that we’re not good enough, that things aren’t as great as they could be. And this rips us apart inside.

But as with any major transitions in life, it’s always just a matter of time before you make it to the other side; to the greener pasture I suppose. This age can make someone feel worthless and untethered. Funny enough, you will one day look back and smile and remember this phase and wonder what was that? Why was I like that?

On another note, trust the process. “Am not selling hope, look for motivation elsewhere. What I only know is that life will never forget you. It will always find a way to get to you. No matter the time. Death is the worst that can happen to you.” - Love Yourz- J Cole.